Mom’s Law

Mom’s Law

Ever heard of Murphy’s Law?  Well, Murphy has nothing on moms.  Mom’s Law is rather complex and actually applies to both moms and dads… Mom’s Law can get the best of any who is fortunate enough to be able to hang around tiny people for any extended period of time.  Refer to the following:

Mom’s Law

  1. If someone poops, everyone will poop. You will be cleaning up poop all day. Fact.
  2. When one thing finishes, everything finishes. The wash is finished so you need to move the wash to the dryer and put a new load in, but the baby is crying and needs to be fed and the oldest is yelling for you to wipe him in the bathroom while the chiweenie is standing at the back door wagging his tail frantically because he’s about to take a leak right there on the floor as the doorbell rings for the package that you have to sign for or they’ll take it with them and it will be lost in the abyss that is the United States Postal Service.
  3. Swamped at work? One of your kids will definitely be sick when work is busier than it has ever been. Sorry, work… my sick child can’t wait… you can 😉
  4. Huge outbreak of Hand, Foot, and Mouth, strep, and possibly the plague going around and someone on your child’s soccer team just “gets over it” and returns to soccer? The coach will make them “practice high fives”. No, I’m not kidding. You can’t make this stuff up…
  5. Run out of coffee? Don’t worry. Your normally cool, calm, and collected children will suddenly find the urge to bounce off the walls and pull out toys faster than your mom arms can carry the massive loads back to their places of origin.
  6. If you set your alarm for 6:15 am, the baby will decide 5:30 am is a great time for breakfast.
  7. When you get up to make said breakfast bottle, the baby will once again be sleeping by the time you get the bottle to his room.
  8. After you’ve confirmed the baby is actually asleep, put the bottle in the fridge, and hop in the shower, the baby will start crying for his bottle again after your hair is full of shampoo.
  9. If the baby takes a nap, you’ll always have just enough time to make your house or yourself presentable… never both.

There is one thing Mom’s Law has that Murphy should be jealous of: kids that melt your heart no matter what kind of wrench is thrown in your plans!

Llamas are the New Unicorns, Cacti are the New Floral

Llamas are the New Unicorns, Cacti are the New Floral

Man… times have changed.  I remember when unicorns were the “it” animal… or mythical creature… or whatever unicorns are.  They’re so fluffy I could DIE!  Anyway, it seems there is a new “it” animal to love: llamas.  I’m really not mad about it. In fact, the kid in me wants this backpack.   Like, really, really wants this backpack.  Who wouldn’t?  Those little llamas are just too cute.

llama backpack

And cacti?  When did this become a thing?  I mean, I know it’s been a thing for a while now, but when did we make the transition from floral and flower everything to cacti?  I have to say I definitely don’t hate it, though.  I remember online shopping for our oldest at Old Navy (because who has time to actually walk into the store???) last year in search of some cute shirts for church and coming across a coral button-up shirt with tiny little cacti and a denim skinny tie.

img_3698.jpg

Um, add to cart, please!  I thought it was SO different and unique.  Until I saw cacti EVERYTHING nearly a week later.  Oh well… at least I know I’m somewhere in the range of cool.  Maybe.  I also had to have this Kate Spade cactus necklace, because… cactus and Kate Spade, people (yes… Poshmark for $25… SCORE!).

cactus necklace

Uh, totes adorbs.  I know that’s no longer a thing, but I’m using it anyway…

An Ode to the Automobile: A Mom’s Permanent Residence and Sanctuary

An Ode to the Automobile: A Mom’s Permanent Residence and Sanctuary

As a kid my mom drove me EVERYWHERE.  And, sometimes nowhere… we liked music and if a good song was on (i.e. Sk8r Boi, Bye Bye Bye, anything by Nelly…), why on earth would we pull into the driveway to interrupt it???  Until now I never realized how many hours my mom probably spent chauffeuring us around as kids.

As my oldest has been in preschool a little over a year now I feel like all I do is haul tiny tushes somewhere.  He’s four.  Why do I feel like I’m running around like a crazy person when he’s only four?!  Now, don’t get me wrong, I am more than happy to take him to and from preschool, to grandma’s while I work, to soccer, to tee ball, to church activities, but dang.  Four.  Years.  Old.  What will this be like when he’s… I don’t know 14?

I dropped him off at preschool one day, pulled into our driveway and into our garage, and sat there for a moment in the silence (other than the sound of raspberries our youngest had been blowing continually the entire way home) and looked around my car.  I had a real life smell the roses moment.

I realized how much rushing I do every day.  I rush to get our youngest up and fed, rush to get them both dressed and ready, rush to get our oldest to school or to my parents’ house while I’m at work, rush to a sport, rush to church, or rush to wherever we happen to be going, but what do I do while we’re IN the car?  I remember having conversations with my parents in the car, listening to music, and sometimes just driving around just because.  I take the little things for granted most of the time like actually being able to afford a car to rush around in.  My car is dirty, dusty, has more Cheerios crushed on the floor and stored in the booster seat than I can count, has extra diapers, wipes, and formula stored in front of the carseat, a giant stroller taking up the whole cargo space, lawn chairs for soccer or tee ball taking up the remaining space of the cargo, a soccer ball, some snacks in the seat back, and more than likely a Starbucks straw wrapper or two somewhere in the front.

I looked around at the dust, clutter, and the sweet little baby in the back seat and thought to myself about how lucky I really am.  We have a car.  We have extra diapers, formula, and wipes to keep in the car.  We have a stroller and chairs to clutter up the cargo area.  Heck, we have a cargo area.  We live in a community where we can safely take our child to play soccer and tee ball and to an amazing, loving church.

In my messy, dusty car I realized how little I thank God for the simple things and look around and soak it all in.  Sometimes it’s great to appreciate the fact that we have things to be messy or days to be hectic.  So moms, enjoy your messy car sanctuary.  It’s proof that you drive your kids to and from activities they love, to and from families that love them, and to and from making memories together-even if it’s messy and chaotic.  Rock that messy car, momma.  It shows you love your family and spend time with them.  Time goes too fast-embrace it.

By the way… the day after I wrote this my husband cleaned out the ENTIRE car.  How’d he know?!  I must’ve been sending out dirty car vibes 😉

Want a Real Anti-Bullying Campaign? Stop Being a Bully on Social Media, Moms

Want a Real Anti-Bullying Campaign? Stop Being a Bully on Social Media, Moms

thumbs downYes, adults. This is directed at you, social justice warriors.  I’m climbing on my soapbox, so hold on, y’all.  I prefer to keep my blogging lighthearted, fun, sometimes informative (for those who care about clothes, food, and wiping tiny butts all day), and generally a pleasant read, but I’m so over it.

Social media posters hide behind their iPhones and their MacBooks (yes, I’m generalizing, Apple users… don’t be offended… I’m an iPhone, iPad, and MacBook Pro snob, so hang with me here) and scream “Stop bullying!  Protect our children!  Teach them to be kind, accepting, and tolerant!”, then five minutes later post their OPINION, yes OPINION, on what another mother should feed her child and pick a fight with someone who doesn’t agree, use the F-word, then condemn them for feeding them something they would NEVER feed their precious, perfect child.  Key word, sheeple, O-P-I-N-I-O-N.  Moms are the worst.  The absolute worst.  Honey, it’s none of your business what another mother feeds her child.  Is she giving them crack cocaine?  No? Ok, then keep your opinion to yourself because no one cares.

Opinions are great.  Discussions are great.  Let me rephrase that: CIVIL discussions are great.  That’s how we learn.  That’s how we grow.  That’s how we support one another, stimulate intelligent thought, and in general operate as an informed adult.  How in the world does using the F-word toward another mother help her to become a better mom or support her in any way shape or form?  Ooooh-me! Me!  I can answer that one!  IT DOESN’T. So. Don’t. Do. It.

Alright… *dismounts from soap box*.  Keep keepin’ on, awesome mommas.  I see you-you’re doing great.  Feed your child what you want to feed them because, guess what?  They’re YOUR child and YOU know what’s best for them.  Gluten free?  All the carbs? Organic?  Vegan?  Fruit roll up that fell on the floor?  Breast milk?  Formula?  Go on with your bad self, girl!  I salute you-you’re awesome.  Never forget that and never let that bully momma telling you what not to feed your child get in your way of doing your thing.

There is Hope, Second Time Moms

There is Hope, Second Time Moms

img_3443This is for you, soon-to-be momma of two, or three, or four, or… ok, not five.  I can’t help you there-you’re on your own with that many!  But seriously, this is to assure you if your first child was easy that your second probably won’t be a terror like everyone says.  The most frequent comment I received during my second pregnancy?  “oh… second children are always the difficult ones”.

I’m here to tell you, sleep deprived momma, that this couldn’t have been further from the truth for us.  I actually now understand what an “easy baby” is.  We were young and didn’t know any better the first time.  Our first child ate every hour on the hour, if not sooner, until he was 6 months old and normally wouldn’t sleep unless held.  I’m sure personality, diet, and a myriad of outside factors probably contribute to a baby’s temperament (see my previous post here for my theory…), but don’t let those comments scare you. Our second child is the happiest, healthiest, chubbiest, most chill tiny human I’ve seen yet!

Moral of the story?  Every child is different for so many reasons.  Had an easy first child and are terrified that your second will pop out like Stripe from the movie Gremlins (oh come on guys… you know, Gremlins the movie?  I can’t be that old…)?  Relax… chances are they will be a calm, happy baby.  From what I’ve seen with our kids and everyone else around us the second child tends to be content in any situation.  It may be that they’re so used to waiting for food, to be held, or just hanging out while mom cooks dinner, takes care of the older kids, or cleans that they just roll with it.  Props to you, second children!  May you be easy on your second time mommas!